From My Secret Lives - A Collection of Dreams

By Shawn Shiflett

Geisha

            I’m a geisha trying to better myself by going to college. Lately, my professors have been piling on the homework.  As I sit at my dining room table wearing white pancake makeup and a lovely silk kimono embroidered with hummingbirds, I cram for yet another test, speed-reading and using a high-lighter pen to note important passages from a thicker-than-thick chemistry book. I’m beginning to have second thoughts about getting an education.  Is it even worth it?  School is really stressing me out.

Telemundo Soap Opera Star

I’m one of several celebrity guests on a talk show for the Telemundo network.  I can’t say much because I can’t speak Spanish.  Miraculously, I’m in my twenties again, and it’s obvious from my style of dress—a baseball cap turned backwards and a sleeveless t-shirt—that I’m some sort of beefcake, Central American, soap opera star.  Instead of the desk-and-chairs seating arrangement that’s typical on talk shows, we stand around a tall table, and whenever the camera pans to me, I pretend to be closely following the banter of the host and several other guests.  I discretely flex my biceps, not wanting to disappoint my fans, but on the monitors I can see that my arms, a bit on the skimpy and flabby side, have missed out on the rest of my body’s youthful transformation.  Too late now, and I kept flexing.